Back to reality? or rather, WELCOME.

The past couple of months have been quite the roller coaster ride. A chain of setbacks flowed in my direction just in time to put to rest all my exciting plans of fun and self-exploration for this summer. From then on, it became a constant struggle to get out of the world inside my head to face my unfortunate reality. It was my place of denial; my space to justify my stubbornness and escape the frustration. The ‘easy’ way out.  See, much as denial is detrimental, it provides us the comfort of believing that right here and right now: don’t worry, just be happy! While every bone in my body dances in agreement with Bobby McFerrin’s beautiful song, some times are indeed ones in which to be reasonably nervous. We ought not to sit comfortably on top of all that is wrong in our lives that should, and can be, right. We must bare our cup, however heavy, in conscious recognition of every blow in order to best appreciate the end of the tunnel. This is what I found I had failed at, courage. Yet ironically, realizing this failure on my part is a victory I proudly claim. I am glad that it took a blow to discover my weaknesses, which discovery prompted me in search of strength. In my experience, the more I consider every possible worst case scenario, the more grateful I become. I am gradually more acutely aware of how much less severe the current circumstances are than what they could be. As a result, I understand that this too shall pass, not only because I allowed myself to look at my obstacles in the face and still believe I could overcome, but also because I wanted both to believe and to overcome. I am tempted to lie and call it a wake-up call ‘back to reality’, but for me, this has been, and continues to be, about discovery. I have learned about the importance of failure, the treasure that lays hidden in broken hopes. I have been welcomed into a new chapter.  I have been changed. I am changing. I will change. Now I embark on this  journey of self-discovery within the honest bounds of my only possession, my reality. By embracing my reality, flaws and all, I realize the truth in the words of a good friend of mine to me, “You will emerge stronger.”

 

Cheers

~Tasha

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